Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I love this boy!

originally uploaded by bundleboo.

Recently I've been approached by teachers and family about Max's hyper and impulsive behavior. Exhausted and frustrated myself, I made another appointment with the behavior specialist to see what other "tools" we can use to help manage Max's crazy spurts. Andy and I are exhausted and are ready to try whatever it takes to help this sweet boy find some stability... mentally, emotionally, physically... so that we can all enjoy the benefits that he will reap from this. Of course like anyone.... he has his good days and his difficult days. He is of course entitled. However, on his difficult days the entire mood of the house is affected...and thus and endless cycle of negativity happens. My heart hurts for this sweet boy because by the end of the day all he has heard is negativity and anger from us. That really has to take a toll on his self esteem.

Today we discussed at length what we can do as parents to help him more. It came to our attention during this conversation that we have really not been as attentive as we thought. Since Katy has been born the behavior problems doubt due to diminishing attention he was receiving... so he lashed out...I don't blame him. Max was an attached baby and toddler. (not a crib, stroller or playpen baby) We decided today that we will spend more close one on one time with him... give him a special mommy and daddy connection with out the interruption of the phone, siblings, computer or television.

Today was the first day in a long time where Max was top priority... (I know that sounds terrible) He was an ANGEL child. I know in a realistic world...Max cannot be the king of his domain. But if this is why he is having so many behavior issues... then I will take the time to put the baby down and give him my undivided attention. Andy is not comfortable at this point putting Max on some sort of behavior drug... I am indifferent at this point if Andy is going to help me make the changes that need to happen in his environment first.

I am not apposed anymore to a ADD or ADHD medication if it helps Max to find some peace. Ultimately if its a chemical imbalance that is affecting his quality of life... then he deserves some relief. I was on Ritalin for the duration of my childhood... and know for a fact that it helped me... however I disagree with the way I was removed from treatment. I am currently on a mild antidepressant (was predicted that I would probably end up on something if I truly had a chemical imbalance... you don't always grow out of it) I know if I miss a few days... its like watching someone else run my life... its weird and I don't like it... I feel helpless.

I hope to give Max a good running chance at feeling well, before we put him on a mood altering medication. Andy and I first have to make darn sure that we are doing our part.


Madeline said...

It's sounds like y'all are really great parents. Your willingness to look at yourself and your actions is inspiring. I pray that you find your answer as a family. Thanks for sharing and being so open.

Unknown said...

oh WOW WOW WOW. The fact that he was calm, content, etc when yhe had more attention speaks volumes!

He's just a sensitive and creative child, not imbalanced (so it seems, just imho)

Wonderful that you had the opportunity to witness that. He is one fortunate boy to have you as his mama.

Anonymous said...

I can understand a lot of what you explained as I have it with my own son. I just ordered the info here: We haven't gotten it yet so I can't say if it has worked but you might enjoy looking it over as an option.