Its a wrap...

I'm feeling like work is starting to level out a bit as the holidays approach. I've meet so many wonderful families over the last 4 months... and I could have never guessed that a photography business could have bloomed the way it did in such a short amount of time. I am slowly learning how to balance life with a growing business...my illness has forced me to control the levels of stress in my life. There are few things that will cause a flair up.. and stress level is a major factor in staying healthy. Its amazing how God works... and the unique ways he forces his hand so that you make necessary changes. Otherwise I just might have run myself right into the ground.

These are just a few photos from Halloween this year.. I haven't the chance to edit until recently.
Max is still doing wonderful and continues to make excellent progress in school. His immediate relationships have improved drastically and the stress level in the house has dropped. Now that he is in control of himself we can work on reward systems. (before recently this would have never worked... he hadn't the impulse control to care about the consequences). I have started a marble jar for him. Each day that he does well and shows intention to do well..he gets marbles for his jar. When he does things to intentionally defy the rules...he gets marbles taken out of his jar. After the goal is met.. he will get to go and play games at a local arcade for 2 hours. This was his choice and is very excited about doing well.

more on ADHD before and after...

BEFORE (1 week before adhd treatment)

AFTER (1 day after adhd treatment) Its snowing like crazy outside right now... and this mornings photo session didn't workout despite trying ... it was just coming down too hard. So I'm sitting here sipping on my coffee beaming at how proud my son son has come with his behavior in less than a week. Its been an amazing transformation to see him go from (see his before picture above) frustrated, un-organized, too hyper and impulsive to even focus on drawing a picture..(the above he also tore the corner and crumbled it up he was so annoyed with himself)...to...(see after) discovering a new talent in drawing and writing... he has been drawing non-stop since he discovered he could only a few days ago... Andy helped with the spelling of these words but this is HIS handwriting. People, Max couldn't consistently draw in the lines or hold a pencil correctly less than a week ago!!!

I couldn't be happier for him!!

Wacky Weekends

Untitled-1, originally uploaded by RGonzalezPHOTOGRAPHY.

Mornings are pretty early for me right now.. still adjusting to getting up at 6am everymorning to get Max ready and off to school. The plus side to this is the little bit of quiet lull time between when Max leaves for school and when the girls get up. Coffee, email, SHOWER.... did I mention ...SHOWER?? This morning I got Katy up with me and we made homemade gingerbread cookies for her preschool class. The house smells devine....much like its occupated by a mother who normally does these kinds of things.. LOL!! (IE: baking at 6am in the morning) .. no seriously I've really enjoyed spending that one on one time with Katy. She has really started to become my big helper.

This weekend is a full one... two photoshoots each day this weekend.. including a trip to NJ (for photos)...its a long day in the car (10 hours) but I will be nice to change the scenery a bit. AND I get to meet a blogging friend Danielle and her sweet family on the way home!!

Day 3 on Max's new meds... doing better with the side effects. No belly pain and yesterday he ate more than he did the first day. Still positive words back from his teacher.. and he is still very excited to return to school. Slightly agitated around 4-6.. not half as bad as he was the first day.

off to get Katy dressed.. hugs everyone!

Max and ADHD

Wow its been a long time since I paid my own blog a visit! We've been pretty busy at the gonzadino house of craziness. Since I've blogged last we've moved to a new home in Winchester city, Max changed schools, I've been diagnosed with Crohns Disease and my photog. business is booming!

I've previously mentioned struggles with my 5 year old son Max. God bless him he was cursed with the family's ADHD predisposition. For years I've been struggling to help him with diet changes, positive discipline methods... routine stability... and sometimes just plain ignoring the behavior. I didn't realize how much he struggled with this until family intervened and I could see him in a social setting with his other peers. It was then pretty obvious that no amount of preservative and dye removal from his diet..vitamin B... or encouragement was going to help this child who clearly has a chemical imbalance. I've struggled with the idea of giving my child an adhd medication. Knowing that doing so would pretty much be a school age commitment.. as I too was on ADHD meds for most of my young life. (but as a child with a diagnosed adhd chemical imbalance.. meds were the right answer for me and I believe I survived the rigors of school, home and social aspects of life because of the meds that were prescribed for my childhood adhd)

I agree that many children are thrown onto the medications because it seems like the simplest and easiest answer to handling an overactive or unruly child. When many times the best course of action should have been..diet, routine, environment or parenting changes. I can honestly say that i've done my best over the last 36 months in all aspects and attempts and improving Max's quality of life outside of medicinal changes. With that said....

After many days of Max being singled out at school.. and the obvious and difficult frustrations Max is facing at home we have finally decided to proceed with Medicinal treatments. Max started an ADHD medication called Vyvanse yesterday and before the teacher even had a chance to read my letter to her informing her of the new treatment plan for Max.. I received a phone call from a VERY pleased teacher about how well Max was doing at school yesterday!! She stated that he was calmer, organized, followed directions easily and quickly (in the past its taken us up to 10 times more often than not to get Max to do Simple tasks such as put your shoes on or brush your teeth) Max came home from school a little irritable.. and with a belly ache (poss. side effect of meds) but overall happier about school and excited to return the next day. (never has he wanted to be at school until now).

this morning he woke up quickly and eager to get ready to start his day... in the past it was a battle to get him moving and out of bed. Over all I'm seeing very positive results!!! I am a tad concerned about the immediate side effects:

late afternoon crankiness
stomach upset
NO appetite
tough time going to bed

Hopefully we can work thru these. Anyone else have experiences with a young child being treated with meds for ADHD?

early morning...first day of school.

Well this morning around 4:30 I lay awake in my bed with a restless baby... 5:30 rolls around and I get the call telling me its time to go do the water birth i promised i would do. So tired i lay in bed thinking of how to juggle three children in a home with 6 already and cover this mamas first water birth... and get Max to school on time for his first day. So i decided that i wasn't going to make it happen by laying in bed thinking about it... so I woke the kids up.. got them dressed and we drove over and had what i consider to be a successful photo shoot Lucy was on my back the entire time in the bundleboo and max and katy were mostly occupied by the other children... Katy was more fascinated with watching the birth. What a privilege it was to be there... she was amazing. There are a few more photos posted on my flickr.. you can find that link on the right hand side of my page.. hopefully i will have more updated soon.

Max did get to school on time... so super cute.. he decided that he wanted to be a big boy and ride the bus... his face lit up as he stood in line waiting his turn to get on. Picking him up a few hours later he was beaming and excited about his day. He's really looking forward to going back tomorrow. Yay for max!!!

(o i did get pictures of course of max.. i still need to upload them ...so I will post them when i can)

wrapping up the summer

I met Max's teacher yesterday... its so odd being in a public school again for the first time since i graduated high school... well... really exploring the school. The walls smell of fresh paint and the teachers have colorful media all over the rooms. Max's classroom has 20 students with a teacher and aide. Mrs. Costello is her name and she is super bubbly and sweet like imagine all kindergarten teachers should be. After some thought I think that this year will be okay for letting him ride on the bus. The bus driver keeps all the smaller students in the front.. .and the afternoon dismissal is all kindergarten students. It will ultimately work out better than trying to juggle drop offs and pick up with both Max and Katy being in school. Next week is Katy's turn to meet her teacher at first Presbyterian weekday school...Katy will be attending class 3 half days a week. Her BFF Hannah will be in her class also...im so excited for her. She also talks constantly about her ballet class coming up.

This upcoming weekend is a REALLY busy one for the r.gonzalez photos... I am full all weekend.. plus really looking forward to baby Saturday at my parents... i get to see my nephew who's been with this mom for the last 6 weeks. Yay!! Hugs everyone!

Meeting the teacher

Did I mention that my baby boy starts kindergarten this week?? I know!!! Today we get to meet his teacher... Mrs. Costello. I am so excited for him... I can tell they are so ready to be rid of me. A parent at church mentioned how well my kids did after being left. Perhaps its the genetics working..but my kids never have had separation issues... well maybe a little when Max was small.. but for the most part they like to push me out the door. Grateful and Sad all at the same time.

Well off to run some errand's... hugs everyone... I need to catch up soon on all of your blogs.

Ready for school

So we ran around town like a family of banana heads getting caught up on overdue obligations and shopping. Max is finally fully in the system at greenwood mill elementary school. I can't believe my monkey will be going to kindergarten!!

So whats left... school shopping... supplies and fall clothes for both the eating me out of house and home children that I have. They've both grown immense amounts in the last 6 months. Amazing they aren't actually made of rubber for the amount of vertical stretching they've been doing.

dog days of summer...sex ed in elementary school?!?

(the photo is of a client gift I made for someone this past weekend...its a flower pot pen holder... the flowers are all pens...she asked on facebook how to keep people in her office from stealing her pens)

So its been pretty hot and muggy these days. I've been trying to keep the kids inside when it that hot out. We emerge from the den around 5ish and go to bed a tad later...to beat the heat. Tho I know come the winter months I'll be longing for some sweat.

Lucy is walking half the time now... I tried to get a video of it this afternoon but it isn't working.. so I'll get another one tomorrow. They are such awkward drunk looking little creatures when they just start walking. I love it!

Max will be going to the brand new elementary school right around the corner from us. Close enough that in a few years he can ride his bike to school. I have been contemplating letting him ride the bus to school...I've heard such horror stories of what the kids talk about on the bus...what kids learn from each other. I'm just not ready for that level of unsupervised growing up. Plus Katy will be going to preschool 3x a week so it may just be easier to drive Max to school on the way to drop katy off... rather than be late dropping katy off to wait for Max's bus.

Okay so don't get me wrong..I don't need a dose of... your kid is going to hear it anyway.. so why shelter him from it. But...5??? We live in such a mixed society of parenting that its not uncommon in some households for the parents to throw the f-bomb around like its nothing. Or to use fowl and derogatory terms for body parts... not to mention the topic of sex... oh no...don't get me started on that. Whatever, talk like that in front of your kids... but then they get on the bus and teach my children how to talk like that too. So now I have to unteach your nasty bad habits to my child. (okay getting off my soap box) Late elementary school kids are having sex these days... WHAT?!?!? Not to mention the fact..well maybe rumor... we'll have to see... about the school sex ed program not requiring permission slips anymore. Hmm... not good in my book. More reasons to make $$ and put my child in a private school..where parents have more of a hand in what our children are and are not being taught. I'd be all about home schooling... but I'm not :) its not my cup of tea... and I think that my children would certainly benefit more from a scholastic institution... i just don't have a structured bone in my body.

Anyway, off to catch up on some ghost hunters... night everyone!

getting geared up

People mention to me that its Friday... I feel the excitement for others as I know its break from the work monotony that consumes them thru out the week. I'm lucky that I even know what day it is. Andy has got my old PDA charged up from when I worked as a paramedic. Since being a photographer requires that you actually know what day it is... I've surrounded myself with reminders, calenders, books... email notifications... Im doing my best to stay on top of it.

My mom called me this afternoon and told me that Lucy must be walking by baby Saturdays...which is tomorrow... I sent Lucy the memo... and shes walking now. WEIRD!! Max is a little speed demon on his bicycle... and I think that Katy at the ripe old age of 3 is PMSing. Good grief...can we talk more about the drama?!?! On a lighter note...here is a picture of our little princess in her favorite outfit EVER. Any doubt what her favorite color is??

Anyway... I've got get back to my milk and brownie! Goodnight!

busy busy busy

So I got a phone call from my mom tonight "BECKY, YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND I ARE GOING THRU BLOG WITH DRAWL... ITS BEEN OVER 4 DAYS!!!" lol, sorry mom.. I've been sucked into the addictive world of facebook networking! Oh my goodness!! Get me out of the zone. For those that think I've died... I also blogging daily "Here" and my fan page is "Here". The networking on facebook is incredible!! I'm suddenly in regular contact with people whom I haven't spoken with in YEARS... and I may never have again if it weren't for "friend me". So, so cool... and I can randomly chat with my family...IE my auntie and I don't have to pick up the phone. Which by the way is damn near impossible these days. My children are gluttons for torturing me while I'm on the phone. From a recent and totally random personal poll... this kind of parent torture is more common than I thought.

So now for your regular update... Lucy is not walking yet.. in fact shes an expert speed crawler. I don't think she'll ever need to walk if she can get anywhere at light speed by crawling. She speaks regularly in baby sign language... did I mention that I recommend this to ANYONE!!! Its saved me a lot of un-nessesary tantrums figuring out what she wants...because she can...(that's tantrums from both of us)

Katy is quickly becoming queen of the house... need to nip that one in the bud. Not sure how I'm feeling the dominant personality is here to say...hmm I wonder where she gets that from???..lol. She insists on wearing her "birthday dress" and dress up clothes everywhere...I let her. I have to throw in my .2 by forcing her to wear the matching converse hightops. Girls are really a lot of drama... its definitely a different challenge...but equal to having boy.

Speaking of Boy, Max is growing up so quickly these days. Showing a lot of interest in playing with the older neighborhood boys. He desperately wants to keep up. Two weeks ago we took the training wheels off of his bicycle and he started practicing to ride like one of the "big boys". Frustrated easily, Max threw his bike down (several times) and gave it a break for a while. Today he asked to put his sneakers and helmet on and give it another try. Got on his bicycle and rode it like a pro. I'm so proud of him. I recall learning to ride my bike the same way... just got on it and went. We have decided to let Max go to kindergarten this year... we'll give it a shot...I'm sure he'll do just fine.

Andy is doing well also, its nice not to have to worry about the house. He's keeping busy tinkering with his car and playing computer games.

My photography business is growing very quickly... it amazing how much improvement 7 months will give to someones skill. Here is a photo taken when I just got started.

to this:

Im loving it!! Im already starting to book up for next month. God does answer prayers doesn't he??

Thanks for the imput!

Thanks for the input everyone... it seems that most mama's here are going or have gone thru something similar.

Its really a rather gross day today... I have a laundry list of things that need to get done, to include finding the motivation to get this stuff done. I'm letting the kids vegetate in front of the TV while I do... well... absolutely nothing. Hey, I'm entitled every now and then :)

I made Jam for the first time this week... Fresh picked strawberries, some frozen blueberries and black berries... organic raw sugar... and lemon juice. No pectin in this recipe so it was a little loose... but soooooo delicious. We put it on our pancakes yesterday instead of syrup... mmm mmm mm.

Max and Katy have been spending a lot of time playing with Lucy these days. Its really cute and they are very good with her. Katy got VERY jealous yesterday when Max told her that he wanted to play with Lucy without her :( ... didn't see this one coming.

I guess I should probably get something productive done now.

come see some of my recent projects at http://www.rgonzalezphotos.com/ I would love your feedback and suggestions.

dirty laundry...Happy Belated Easter!

Its been a very busy week... I appreciate all of your kind words about our mortgage situation. I know there are some readers that are concerned about me airing our "dirty laundry" for all to read... please remember that we aren't a secretive family... and my husband supports whatever outlet I need to get past stress in my life (and I do with every respect to him). I post what I do, to reach out... to let other women or mothers know that although they may choose not to talk about such things in public... they are not alone. Its nothing to be ashamed of... heck, we have not committed a sin... and it hasn't changed who we are as people...infact, I believe that these are the situations that strengthen us. We are not proud of the jam we are in... we certainly took great pride in our lovely home... but we made a decision 3 years ago for me to quit my job and stay home to raise my children... and I take more pride in my children than I would ever feel for a stack of bricks and mortar. I say these things like its up to me to bring in the income... I assure you I know who brings in the "bread and butter"... and I am proud of all his hard work. I rehash this because I'm sure there are other mothers who .....(hahaha I accidently just shut my computer off with my toe :)... have made the big leap to leave there jobs to stay home and raise a family and are in a similar situation. Its a tough battle between working to pay the bills and doing what you feel is right for your family. I have to find a way to get past the guilt of laying the burden of income onto my husband and facing my role as "primary parent". Its not quite as clear cut as it was 30 years ago. In all fairness to family, I post about our private lives to put all who love us in "the loop" ... we aren't very good about calling or sending emails, we want you to know that this is our way of communicating our live to you. pheuf...

With all that said... Happy Easter!!! We had a wonderful time this year, although we missed seeing some close family that normally we would have... we got to see some family that we usually don't. My fathers side of the family... My Grandpa...Auntie Melissa, Susan and Uncle Billy were in from out of town. I also got to meet new family...Josie...Ali's sister.

Easter morning the kids and I did some Easter projects. Katy LOVES to be artsy (gee I wonder where she gets that from)...so we set up shop at the kitchen table. Usually Max isn't interested in crafts... but he decided to get involved with the project. At this point in time, I realized how totally different my two oldest children are. Katy... very meticulous and careful with her painting and color matching... Max... a little reckless and thoughtless with his painting... not very interested in the overall project idea... HOWEVER, before I dismissed him from the table for "wasting paint" in the water bowl... I realized that Max's little scientist mind was more interested in mixing paint colors in the water to create new colors. And I suddenly felt a relief that although we wasn't interested in the craft... he had found his niche and got involved using the tools he hand in hand. How smart is that 4 year old little bugger. So I spent about 30 mins refreshing his water while... blue and red made purple... and yellow and green made blue. Max is much like his daddy, where Katy is very much like me. Normally I might have been frustrated that he was taking clumps of unused paint and washing it away... but I found myself happy to let him do it.... realizing that his mind is made very different than mine... although he came from me.

I am so bloggy behind this last month. If anyone was following a few weeks ago.. Max was crazy ill with some mystery virus that left him with migraines and a spinal tap. We thought that this was the end of it... but it seems that with his weakened immune system from the last virus he has picked up a new one... According to a nasal swab at the Peds today he and Katy both have influenza B... ICK... I am sorry if we passed it on to anyone at Easter dinner... I thought it was just a cold bug. Eeekk! I think I stopped blogging for a while because all I had on my blog agenda were whiny whiny poor me... hahaha... Its all up and up from here guys. HUGS!!!

OH... BTW, I have been having problems with my PSE again... editing raw files eats the RAM on my computer and it keeps kicking me off. So I will be slowly posting all Easter pictures on my flickr as I get them done.

rough week baby

rough week baby, originally uploaded by RGonzalezPHOTOGRAPHY.

We are slowly coming out of the sick woods...I know my past few entries have been a bit whiny...sorry... Max seemed to get hit the hardest of everyone. We spent the last night in the ER for suspicion of meningitis. Hes had high fevers, vomiting, severe headache and Sunday was the first of "sore neck" complaints. I took him in around 10pm ... it was the earliest I could get him in...Andy was held over at work until that time. They gave him an IV, drew blood, xrayed his chest... sedated him and gave him a spinal tap... this poor kid has been rung thru the ringer. He's acting a bit traumatized today...very skittish of being touched...and really jumpy if he doesn't know your going to touch him. His back is very sore from the spinal... no kidding... have you ever seen the size of the needle they use for that procedure...oh my goodness.

Anyway, I just wanted to up date you on why its been so quiet in crunchy monkey land. I have a few videos I need to upload to YouTube for Adventures in Baby sign language...hopefully I will get to those tomorrow.

Cheers to a quick recovery for us 5 crazy's. Thanks! HUGS!

Oh yeah, BTW not meningitis...turns out to just be an evil EVIL virus...and nasty ear infection.

What goes down must come up!

Okay, so...not a fun week. Never quite expierenced this much ill chaos in my house before. It started Last week with Lucy's stomach bug...then Tuesday night with Andy spiking a fever and feeling some bronchitis coming on. Then Wed night it hit me...vomiting...the whole 9 yards. So Andy and I were completely laid out Thursday ... who took care of the kids??? They are alive and well, so it seems we managed some how. Then Lucy started back up again, Katy then yesterday and Today Max. Wowza...not fun. I'm feeling better, but I feel like I have hang over.

On an up note...I may have scored my first official photography gig. A girlfriend of mine does print design and needs someone to do some product photography for a client. I am excited about the opportunity. She also discussed with me doing some firework photography and then later on down the road possibly photographing an assisted living facility. I never even thought about web photos or commercial photography as an option...but I totally think I can do it. Now only if I can figure out how to build an inexpensive DIY light box... Drea...Jenn... anyone..Ideas??

Mommy I want to make Flubber!

Max and Katy got to choose a PPV movie last night. After watching a few previews they chose Flubber with Robin Williams. They watched it TWICE last night and then begged me to watch it once more this morning. After the third time watching it...Max came running up to me..."mommy MOMMY Puuuuuuuleeeeeease make flubber for me!"..."I will keep it in my bug cage and only let it out to play" "aaaaaaand if it starts bouncing around and breaking stuff I will put it away." "PUUUUUULLLLEEEEASSSE MOMMMY!!!!"

Oh my goodness, this is too funny. (snicker)"Max, buddy...its not real, its just a movie". After he continued to insist that it was in fact real, and we had to make some...I told him that if he could tell me the ingredients I would be happy to try. So I came online simply to post this cute request and decided to google "flubber" for a picture to post. And came across this YouTube video on DIY flubber. Looks like Max will get his flubber after all :)

(almost)A Week in Review

So Im back, I cannot believe what a disaster my house was... yes I made myself a mommy todo list 2 pages long...and vowed that I would behave until a reasonable amount of it was done. I even put a sign on my office door to myself that said "STOP go back and work on your list" ...lol. As with many multiple child households laundry was the biggest tackle. I HATE LAUNDRY!!! But its in my "job description" as a stay at home mommy....whatever that is. Mom, I know what you're thinking... and yes my clothing situation was out of control again. Not for hoarding issues, but because all children right now are in between sizes. So we have double the clothes. This situation is coming to a close...(clothes...hahahaha get it??...I know im dumb) I tried to increase the px size so you can see the image better...didn't turn out great but here is a before and after shot of the girls room. The laundry baskets were all clean clothes that needed to be put away.

This was my sweet helper for the afternoon...

Then of course I had to remedy the dirty laundry situation and while I was at it...clean the laundry room. What a difference huh??

I still have quite a bit to do...a mommy's job is never truely done...but at least my family doesn't have to revert to nudism to get there point acrossed that something needed to happen soon.

So what happened while I was on blog vacation?? Lucy got her 4 top teeth in finally. Thank goodness!! Now onto the next Im sure.

Katy has really found an interest in sign language. She has a really REALLY uncanny knack of remembering signs after only being told once. I have to usually reference with her If I forget. I tried to do a video tonight but Katy was in a really foul mood. ICK...she is gracing 3's very much like her big brother did. Who ever came up with terrible twos must have been a spectator. 3's are FAR worse!

And Max, well....

Just kidding, hes been great! I really see a difference in his overall attitude. I think he just decided to quit and pass the baton to Katy. Thanks buddy!

Road Trip

, originally uploaded by bundleboo.

Today we decided to get out of the house as a family and go Altoona PA to see horse shoe curve... one of Max's favorite places. However after driving almost 3 hours we found that the place was closed for the season. To our credit, Andy did check the website and it seemed that everything was on schedule before we left. Even the local train museum was closed for the season as well. So we made the best of it by watching the diesel trains shuffle freight cars back and forth at the local train yard.... it was worth the trip just to see how excited they were about this. (see my photostream for a few more Artsy pics from today)

Max has been really relaxed since Andy and I have taken more of the tension off of ourselves. The trick is not falling back into old habits. He and I just remind each other to keep a kind tone... there are other ways of getting thru frustration than yelling. Just a gentle reminder from one another is all it takes. The funny thing is, I don't con cider myself a yeller... and I have taken pride in the fact that I use gentle discipline more often than not... however after years of day in and day out craziness... I have degraded to something that I hoped I would never become... a frazzled, frustrated, high anxiety mommy... and I single out my son with this frustration which isn't fair to him at all. I feel really good about the steps we are taking right now to make a better and less stressful life for everyone. I certainly don't think its too late at this point... I want my children to thrive...and love life.

PreSpring fun

toenail jam, originally uploaded by bundleboo.

We couldn't help ourselves today...it was absolutely fantasticly wonderful day!!! ...lol...Yes, fantasticly is a word...my word. We went to a local park that we haven't been near since the fall. Max was itching to get his feet wet. Got into the water shoes on and everything... ended up slipping and planting his butt right into the water. So needless to say at that point I was like... "Max, are you cold... yes, well what better way to learn that mommy doesn't just tell you things for my own health.." ...(hehe)... "Mommy, I'm fine... I just want to play some more..." ... "Have at it!" They had a blast... I think kids know there limits... they have to have some freedom to grow and learn there own mistakes. We just have to be there to make sure they don't kill themselves.

BTW... no you cannot catch pneumonia from simply being wet and cold. (justifying that I'm not a bad mommy...lol)

I love this boy!

originally uploaded by bundleboo.

Recently I've been approached by teachers and family about Max's hyper and impulsive behavior. Exhausted and frustrated myself, I made another appointment with the behavior specialist to see what other "tools" we can use to help manage Max's crazy spurts. Andy and I are exhausted and are ready to try whatever it takes to help this sweet boy find some stability... mentally, emotionally, physically... so that we can all enjoy the benefits that he will reap from this. Of course like anyone.... he has his good days and his difficult days. He is of course entitled. However, on his difficult days the entire mood of the house is affected...and thus and endless cycle of negativity happens. My heart hurts for this sweet boy because by the end of the day all he has heard is negativity and anger from us. That really has to take a toll on his self esteem.

Today we discussed at length what we can do as parents to help him more. It came to our attention during this conversation that we have really not been as attentive as we thought. Since Katy has been born the behavior problems started...no doubt due to diminishing attention he was receiving... so he lashed out...I don't blame him. Max was an attached baby and toddler. (not a crib, stroller or playpen baby) We decided today that we will spend more close one on one time with him... give him a special mommy and daddy connection with out the interruption of the phone, siblings, computer or television.

Today was the first day in a long time where Max was top priority... (I know that sounds terrible) He was an ANGEL child. I know in a realistic world...Max cannot be the king of his domain. But if this is why he is having so many behavior issues... then I will take the time to put the baby down and give him my undivided attention. Andy is not comfortable at this point putting Max on some sort of behavior drug... I am indifferent at this point if Andy is going to help me make the changes that need to happen in his environment first.

I am not apposed anymore to a ADD or ADHD medication if it helps Max to find some peace. Ultimately if its a chemical imbalance that is affecting his quality of life... then he deserves some relief. I was on Ritalin for the duration of my childhood... and know for a fact that it helped me... however I disagree with the way I was removed from treatment. I am currently on a mild antidepressant (was predicted that I would probably end up on something if I truly had a chemical imbalance... you don't always grow out of it) I know if I miss a few days... its like watching someone else run my life... its weird and I don't like it... I feel helpless.

I hope to give Max a good running chance at feeling well, before we put him on a mood altering medication. Andy and I first have to make darn sure that we are doing our part.